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Tagged with " Archbishop Desmond Tutu"
28 Dec
2017
Posted in: Book Reviews
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Book Review: “The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World” by the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu with Douglas Abrams

 

Reviewed by Bev Scott

 

The Book of Joy by the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond TutuThis book records a delightful conversation between two spiritual masters of our time, His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu, facilitated by Douglas Abrams. This conversation celebrated their special birthdays and is offered as a birthday gift to others with an invitation for more joy and more happiness.

Many awful things have happened to the Dalai Lama…exiled from his home and from what is precious to him…yet people experience a compassion, joy and a mischievousness when they speak with him. He offers another angle to look at his exile as giving him new opportunities. He shares a Tibetan saying ‘Wherever you have friends that’s your country, and wherever you receive love, that’s your home.”

The Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu are moral leaders who transcend their own traditions and speak with a concern for humanity as a whole. They want to ensure that they include the over one billion people on the planet who are non-believers. Everyone has a right to become happier human beings and to be good members of the human family. That does not depend on religious faith to educate our inner values.

Their lives model the way. Yet, the Archbishop has never claimed sainthood and the Dalai Lama considers himself a simple monk. Their hope in humanity is inspirational as they refuse to choose the cynicism and despair that threatens to overcome us all. The joy the two of them express does not come from living easy and comfortable lives but rather from facing adversity, oppression and struggle. They argue that lasting happiness is not found in the pursuit of any goal or special achievement or in fortune or fame but only in the human mind and heart. They hope that readers of this inspiring book will find it.The Dalai Lama, Archbishop Desmond Tutu

The Archbishop said that “Joy is bigger than happiness” since happiness is often seen as dependent on external circumstances, joy comes from a state of mind and is rooted in the purpose of life. The Dalai Lama said that one of the great questions underlying our existence is “What is the purpose of life? After much consideration I believe that the purpose of life is to find happiness…The ultimate source of happiness is within us. Not money, not power, not status…Sadly, many of the things that undermine our joy and happiness we create ourselves.” If we create most of our suffering, it should be logical that we also have the ability to create more joy. It simply depends on the attitudes, the perspectives and the reactions we bring to situations and relationships.

Suffering, even intense suffering, is a necessary ingredient for life, certainly for developing compassion. It is how we face all of the things that seem to be negative in our lives that determines the kind of person we become. Even in pain we can find some positive experiences, some opportunities and some blessings. “Too much self-centered thinking is the source of suffering. A compassionate concern for others’ well-being is the source of happiness.”  They both say that the way we heal our own pain is actually by turning to the pain of others. It is a virtuous cycle. The more we turn toward others, the more joy we experience, the more joy we experience, the more we can bring joy to others.” Being joyful is about being more empathetic, more compassionate and more engaged with the world.

The Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu

With this foundation for happiness and joy, the Dalai Lama and the Archbishop discuss with insight and from experience how to heal and turn away from the obstacles to joy such as fear, stress, anger, grief, despair, envy and suffering. Then they offer a path to happiness through the Eight Pillars of Joy: perspective, humility, humor, acceptance forgiveness, gratitude, compassion and generosity. The message of this lovely book is that it is a cycle: the more we heal our own suffering and obstacles, the more we can turn to others to help their pain and suffering and, amazingly, the more we turn away from our own selfish issues toward the concerns of others, the more we can transcend our own suffering. This is the true secret of joy.

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12 Dec
2017

Being Grateful Makes Me Happy

 

“Every day, think as you wake up, ‘I am fortunate to be alive.  I have a precious human life.  I am not going to waste it.’”  The Dalai Lama

baby and father, hands, bev scott author, being grateful makes me happy

being grateful makes me happy, blog, bev scott author

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is the season of gratitude. I express my gratitude for friends and family around the Thanksgiving table. I am grateful for the news and greetings I receive from those who live far away. I enjoy the exchange of gifts and goodies, the fragrance of the beautiful decorated trees and cookies baking in the oven at this holiday time.

Like many of my neighbors, I am concerned about the poverty and homelessness around me. I see strangers huddled in doorways, panhandling on the street, pushing shopping carts of belongings. I whisper a prayer “for the grace of God there go I.” Gratitude allows me to recognize how fortunate I am, to appreciate my life and all that I experience. It gives me an opportunity to shift my perspective toward all the abundance I have in my life instead of feeling sorry for what I lack or the problems I have.

Gratefulness Makes Us Happy

The renowned neurologist and author, Oliver Sacks, wrote shortly before he died,

…my predominant feeling is one of gratitude. I have loved and been loved; I have been given much and I have given something in return; I have read and traveled and thought and written. I have had an intercourse with the world, the special intercourse of writers and readers. Above all, I have been a sentient being a thinking animal on this beautiful planet, and that in itself has been an enormous privilege and adventure.”[i]

Despite his diagnosis of metastasized cancer Dr. Sacks was grateful for his life and he was happy. Brother Steindl-Rast, a Catholic Benedictine monk and scholar is quoted in The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World, by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu, saying, “It is not happiness that makes us grateful.  It is gratefulness that makes us happy.”

The Benefits

Indeed, research endorses that perspective and suggests there are many benefits that might motivate us to be grateful more often, even every day. At least forty research studies identify over thirty ways in which gratitude can benefit our lives. Amit Amin categorizes them into Emotional, Health, Social, Personality and Career benefits, all of which contribute to happiness.

Different benefits are probably more appealing to different age cohorts. For me personally, I like the health benefits of improved sleep, living longer, increased energy and feeling good. Since I am retired the benefits for my career are less motivating, but if you are still in the midst of yours the career benefits of gratitude include being a better manager, achieving your goals and being more productive. If you are a young person and concerned if you are well liked in your social circles, consider that being grateful open doors to relationships, deepens friendships, increases your self-esteem, and develops your personality in life changing ways.

orange tabby cat, in lap, bev scott author, being grateful makes me happy

outstretched arms, sunset, bev scott author, blog

 

 

 

 

 

 

We can all appreciate the emotional benefits of gratitude: being more resilient and bouncing back from stress, reducing aggression and being less likely to retaliate, feeling good, less envious, more relaxed and enjoy happier memories. Many of us also, will like the benefit of improved relationship with partners and spouses. Amazing how many benefits gratitude can bring to our lives! Are you convinced yet?

When and How

Maybe you are wondering how to go about it or how to remember to be grateful as you lead your busy stressful life. Gratitude doesn’t require us to be religious, to have any particular skill nor have a gratitude gene. Feeling grateful can happen in the unexpected moment of seeing a beautiful sunset or getting a hand-written note of thanks from a friend. We might experience gratitude when the health scare turns out to be benign. We can experience gratitude in prayer or meditation. Brother Steindl-Rast leads us through “A Grateful Day,” reminding all of us that this is not just another day in our lives.  “It is the one day that is given to you…today.”

Take five minutes daily to express your gratitude for the day that is given to you, for the abundance in your life, and for the experiences that inspire you by writing in a gratitude journal. Will the demonstrated results of daily gratitude described above motivate us to take that 5 minutes? Maybe it is easier to just to use the first few waking minutes of your day to reflect on what brings you gratitude. Or when you see a beautiful sight, taste a delicious bite of food or hear an inspiring piece of music to pause and express your gratitude.

Another approach is to sign up for a daily gratitude message from Deborah Purdue which comes in on your email to remind you each day. Sign up for these beautiful messages with gorgeous color illustrations at www.graceofgratitude.com.  Being grateful doesn’t cost anything, takes very little time, gives you many benefits and makes you happy.

calendula, single flower, bev scott authororanges, bev scott author, blog

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am grateful to you who read my blog and support my work as a writer. Thank you.

[i] Oliver Sacks, “My Own Life” in “Gratitude”, Alfred Knopf, 2015.  Also published in New York Times, Feb. 19, 2015.

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